a wee i

fifteen years

2012-01-29T14:12:00.001+08:00

my high school friends and i had a reunion dinner of sorts as a post-christmas & new year / chinese new year celebration last january 23 at penpen's resto in cubao x (i still call it cubao x; it's expo now).

here are some photos grabbed from dash.

susa & dash

daboys bart & bogs

mich and her fiance jeff

me, my pimple, and susa :) we were both chewing.

my friends believe in my mathematical skill so much i am always the designated accountant after every barkada meal we have. shouldn't forget the service charge!

fooooood

bart, bogs, and his girlfriend dalyn

barkada shot!

i took a couple of photos too, haha.

spoon & fork handles

the view from outside, by the gutter :P

and some instax shots!

i forgot to tell the staff who took the picture to point the camera a little to the right to avoid parallax error (what you see in the viewfinder isn't exactly what you'll get in the photo, as the lens is situated a little below & to the right of the viewfinder). so i just drew bogs there instead.

there you go. cheers to another fifteen+ + years! :)

on film: Urban Sketchers Philippines at Harbor Square

2012-01-28T22:43:00.001+08:00

Camera: Canon AE-1 Program
Film: Lucky Super New asa 200

Film photos taken during the Urban Sketchers-Philippines January sketch session at Harbor Square.

The thing with taking photos with film nowadays is that you can't see the results right away--aside from not being digital (read: instantly view onscreen), one-hour photo labs are scarce and compared to the service I get from Digiprint (5 rolls developed, scanned, and delivered to my doorstep for PhP 247.50, 2-5 days' waiting period), they're more expensive. So that is my excuse for the (late) photos. But I'm sure nobody's complaining. It's always nice to have something to look wait for and to forward to.

father carpenter

2012-01-28T21:19:00.002+08:00

Nikon F80 film SLR, Lucky 200 film. One sunny morning.

sad.

2012-01-27T16:12:00.002+08:00

photos courtesy of the internetz.

a little bit of china

2012-01-26T11:54:00.000+08:00

i was at the national library this morning to give them copies of our book on community development. as i was about to leave i decided to spend a few minutes perusing the chinese exhibit at the lobby. do excuse the 3.2-mp cellphone photos!

the first thing i noticed about the exhibit was the set of brushes on the holder on the table. the girl wasn't doing her calligraphy yet, but i guess she noticed me hovering around the booth. she offered to write something for me if i had paper. good thing i had a piece of scratch with me, so i asked if she could write my name. "but i don't know your name," she said. "lauren. l-a-u-r-e-n," i answered. she paused for a while. "we don't have--" she was thinking of the right word, and i understood. so i offered, "what's the nearest word for my name?" she thought for a bit, and wrote two characters. "law-lah," she said (the "lah"'s sound sounds like it has a question mark at the end). (please forgive me, i don't know how to write what i heard, but that's the nearest to her pronunciation/intonation.)

some of the national library staff gathered around and wanted their names written too.

here's the calligraphy of my name (or the nearest to it), "law-lah" and the girl (i forgot to ask her name) from confucius institute. here she is writing 'good luck' upon the request of one of the staff (michael, he said) who wanted the lucky characters written under his name.

the ink smells awful, but the calligraphy is really nice! :)

other stuff in the exhibit were traditional opera costumes, a musical instrument, tea set, dolls, and textbooks on language. it was really interesting. a nice surprise after a simple library visit!

Velada Tomasina

2012-01-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

Today we put on our period costumes and strolled around campus. As part of the Neocentennial Celebrations, tarpaulin likenesses of the old UST campus and Sto. Domingo Church in Intramuros were erected at Plaza Benavides (or, to the alumni out there, "Lovers' Lane"). A historical marker was unveiled, marchas were played, and carriages took us around campus. It's interesting to see people--students, faculty, support staff--walking around in barongs and baro't sayas. Even the guards wore the uniform of the guardia civil!

i wore a long billowy black skirt, a tapis, white baro, and a head scarf. i would like to think that during the spanish era, i was a tindera. or a hacienda worker in manila. :) behind me is the facade of the old sto. domingo church.

with the 'big men' of the university--former and current vice rectors for religious affairs (where our office falls under)

a sea of students in period costume...and their modern-day backpacks. at the background is the likeness of the university in intramuros.

video crew in camisa de chinos...and a guardia civil in relaxed stance.

i love their leather satchels! you can see the old sto. domingo church in the background.

i wanted to approach this man and take his photo. but i kinda lost him when i tried to walk around to the other side! isn't he a dapper chap? and with a film camera in his left hand too! i didn't see what it was but it had bellows...

watching the unveiling of the historical marker behind the benavides monument.

professors from the college of fine arts and design.

this student's skirt was really beautiful.

there were so many people it's hard to get a "just us" photo, haha.

tv interview (that's a real priest, btw)

we're with the band.

with my uh, novio. he was so sweet to come see me after his class. he looks annoyed at the camera though.

impeachment court.

the historical marker. it's quite a long read.

band!

we also got to ride a carriage. caretela?

matador's got pink socks!

there's a tree growing from the building! :P

more photos in my flickr.

Harbor Square sketches

2012-01-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

I finally found the time (and the guts) to join the Urban Sketchers-Philippines on a sketch session! :)

see more of my sketches here!

I had so much fun and it was pleasant and enjoyable to sketch with a group. I was very glad for the warm welcome and I'm looking forward to more sketching sessions and other activities in the future. See you at Art In The Park! :)

photos grabbed from the Urban Sketchers-Philippines blog

If you're in the Philippines and want to do some urban sketching with us, please do join us! You don't have to be an art major or have formal schooling in drawing (like me haha), you just have to well, like sketching (like i do). :) Follow the Urban Sketchers-Philippines blog [http://urbansketchers-philippines.blogspot.com] or find the group of Facebook [Urban Sketchers Philippines]. :)

blue

2012-01-22T12:08:00.000+08:00

by you.

"corned beef."

2012-01-20T09:39:00.002+08:00

the first words i uttered today.

my brother was asking what the torta on the table was made of while i was having my breakfast. by the looks of it it was corned beef, and i had earlier placed a piece of it in my lunchbox, along with garlic rice.

as a kid i wondered where the corn was, because potatoes were not corn. eventually i just grew to accept that that's what it's called, corned beef. and it was yummy, especially when souped. it goes a long way when souped, and it makes me eat a lot more rice than i should.

corned beef is a staple in my student-on-community-immersion life, as something we share on our foster family's table. as a canned good it is more expensive than most so it rarely graces big family tables, and therefore is considered special. plus it goes a long way when souped (with cabbages and potatoes and onions).

i've taken corned beef on camping trips, because it makes breakfast on a mountain more special--imagine taking in the view of the sunrise from a mossy peak while sipping 3-in-1 coffee and eating rice from the night before but with ready-to-eat newly-cooked corned beef (guisado) on top.

for us, having a family member come home from abroad means spam in all flavors, and corned beef with potatoes, corned beef chunks, corned beef strings, and just about every corned beef creation there is.

when there is just a little bit of corned beef left on the table (sometimes i am last to eat on weekends), i just put hot fluffy rice in the corned beef bowl and mash the rice in the oil. it's unhealthy but it's so. darn. good.

corned beef is love.

and i suck at taking food photos. anyway, that's my lunch. what will you be having?

ye olde university mailbox

2012-01-19T10:17:00.000+08:00

Kate's post about vintage mailboxes got me into looking for an old photo I took of the post office mailbox in the university. When I couldn't find it, I decided to just go out and take photos. I also sent a postcard to a friend. :)

The mailbox is positioned at a corner outside the post office.

Notice that it says "P.I. MAIL"--I'm taking a wild yet slightly educated guess that this mailbox dates back to the American era, when the Philippines was referred to as "Philippine Islands." What are your thoughts on this?

Good camouflage!

"Vicente Zamora Manufacturing. Made in the Philippines." Interesting seal!

Other vintage stuff in the post office. Probably this fan!

And this hinge.

There's a faint "PHILIPPINES" stuck on the mailbox. Probably stickers before.

The post office hasn't changed one bit since high school (and probably since way before), even if the rest of the university's having a facelift of some sort. Perhaps this is because the post office is technically under the Philippine Postal Corporation, and maybe they couldn't really upgrade their post offices as much as they'd like.

Nowadays, there's a small box inside the post office where you can drop your mail for sending, and I don't see the big mailbox being used as much as before. Or I just don't see people sending stuff (bank and insurance stuff not included) through snail mail anymore (with the exception of fellow Postcrossers and some of my friends). Sigh.

Hairy Harry and I <3 snail mail so much.

Thanks, Kate, for the inspiration for this post! :)

For Ma'am Ophie

2012-01-18T10:42:00.001+08:00

This morning I learned about an online petition that's begun to make its rounds in the Philippine literary circles. It's meant to make the University of Santo Tomas (through the Rector Rev. Fr. Rolando V. dela Rosa, O.P.) fulfill its promise of re-opening the UST Creative Writing Center and renaming it after Professor Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta, its co-founder and director, to honor her legacy.

I'm lifting this bit off the petition's background:

In November of 2010, the University of Santo Tomas, through Rector Magnificus Reverend Father Rolando V. Dela Rosa--during the necrological service of professor, academician, literary critic and Filipino poet Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta--announced the following:

1) The University of Santo Tomas Creative Writing Center, of which Professor Dimalanta was the co- founder and director, would soon be re-opened.

2) That the UST Creative Writing Center, when it re- opened, would be named after Professor Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta, to honor her legacy.

The latest news, from reliable sources, is that the University of Santo Tomas is withdrawing the second part of its promise--for reasons that are still unclear.

The petitioners therefore call on the University of Santo Tomas to stay true to its word and keep its commitment.

Sigh. I think the University has become too obsessed with the Quadricentennial celebrations (and maintaining its 'oldest university in Asia' tag, which I don't think anyone else will contest anyway) that it has forgotten--or dismissed as a passionately-said promise in the midst of collective mourning--what would be a great thing to look forward to.

I was in my junior year in high school when I first met Ma'am Ophie. The UST Center for Creative Writing and Studies extended an invitation to our school organ's staff for a writing workshop, and off we went. During snacks one afternoon after the workshop, I remembered Ma'am Ophie calling someone to come in the Center and introduce us to the Thomasian Writers Guild. That's how Mervin and I met. For the next year Mervin and Fel, the president of "Tweegee," would help us form our very own Junior Thomasian Writers Guild or JT (at least, that's how I shortened it). We attended poetry readings and events at the CCWS and got to know (and interact with!) Filipino writers. I attended college at the Faculty of Arts and Letters in the same building as the CCWS, and I dropped by whenever I could, usually with members of the TWG and/or staff of The Flame, our college journal.

It always smelled of coffee.

And Ma'am Ophie would always find the time to entertain us, to answer our questions, to send us off literary events, to encourage us to write--to write well. If she wasn't there, the junior associates of the Center were, and we would often soon find ourselves making merry, discussing lit and other sh*t elsewhere, usually at the "batcave". But write we did, some of us well enough to make it to Ustetika, then the national writing workshops, then Palanca. I could also dare to say those were the glory days of the Thomasian studentry's creative writing.

I remember a lot more about the Center and Ma'am Ophie. I wasn't able to hear much about the Center's activities after I graduated and even while I worked in UST (not the Center's fault; I was really out of the loop at this time). It was Joseph Saguid who texted me when Ma'am Ophie passed away.

I was there during the necrological services at the UST Chapel in November 2010. I did hear the Rector announcing the planned re-opening and renaming of the creative writing center. I applauded, not only because it was for Ma'am Ophie, but also because it would bring Thomasian creative writing back to life. In a university where it seems all energies are focused on PR and sports, an institutional support system for aspiring writers is a really good move.

I signed the petition. I hope you will, too.

Here's the link to the petition, it's also at the top right sidebar:

SUPPORT OPHELIA ALCANTARA-DIMALANTA

From the bottom of my creative-writing-and-literature-loving heart, thank you. Many added thanks if you could share the love, spread the news to your friends!

on my daily commute

2012-01-16T16:27:00.001+08:00

i take the bus to work everyday. depending on the time i leave the house, i arrive in the university an hour and fifteen, twenty, or thirty minutes later. it's easy to catch the bus in the mornings, especially if i'm early enough. i almost always get a seat. it's quite comfortable, and i usually fall asleep (which i really shouldn't, knowing the dangers of public transportation in this country). if i'm in the bus by six-thirty, and barring any event of road mishaps, vehicular problems, and worse-than-usual traffic, i get to the office at around seven forty-five.

going home is a different matter. considering that my work hours coincide with majority of other people's work and school schedules, i'm doomed to evenings of ~~waiting~~ hunting for a ride along with the throng of students and employees going home from their respective schools and workplaces along the university belt. there are a lot of routes i can take going home, though. i'm lucky if a bus comes around with seats to spare, or if a van drops off someone at the exact spot i am standing on, and we have the same destination. those moments are real treats for me. otherwise, i can pick from the jeepneys passing by. by jeepney going home can take as much as two hours, and it comes with free dust, smoke, and sweat. when i get home i'd be doubly tired, too drained to even eat a late dinner.

but i've been doing this commute since i was thirteen, so what's my problem?

well, when i was a younger student i had a different schedule, and traffic wasn't as bad.

when i was an older student, i had more free time to work on school stuff in school, so i didn't have to rush home.

but now, it's getting tiring, especially when i had graduate classes and had to finish reading whole books overnight. i always complain that it's more difficult finishing my studies now because of my (regular) work, because i'm just simply so drained in the evenings to read--i get sleepy after a few pages, and i still have to wake up at five the next morning.

it's been especially tiring the past few (and the coming) months, as a major intersection i pass through undergoes a major construction. vehicles are made to pass though one lane out of four, on a thirty-second window, with vehicles passing in eight different directions. riding a jeepney or a bus it takes me thirty-forty minutes to pass through half a kilometer's stretch. most vans are able to drive around the sidestreets and shortcuts, lucky them.

sigh. enough babbling. my point is, my daily commute is taking its toll on me and i feel like the time i spend on it (from waiting for a ride to the walk home) could be better spent reading a book, writing, crafting, watching a good documentary, catching up with friends, taking photographs, eating a leisurely dinner, and all those things i said i'll do while i still can.

the tiring job-related* commute is one of the reasons why i won't be working (in an 8-5 job) by june: i figured that if i finish my graduate studies, i'll have better work opportunities elsewhere (perhaps somewhere nearer), somewhere that won't take three hours of my life from me every single day (stuck in traffic). it would be refreshing to work on something that doesn't require clocking in the biometric machine four times a day, five times a week. it would be nice to look forward to quality time in the evenings doing something more than attempting to read/fighting off sleep.

i think there's a difference between complaining and reasoning why something isn't good for you anymore. for some time it's been a choice between a regular job (steady income, 13th month pay, benefits, some travel opportunities that are all usually work-related) and finishing my graduate studies (a degree in the field that i love, opportunity to teach courses in the field that i love (in a tree-surrounded, liberal, progressive environment that i love), be a more credible freelancer in the other fields that i love, and just being able to do what i love, and love what i do). i'm sure you already know which direction i'm taking.

* * *
of course i wouldn't mind the commute to manila if i'm going to see my friends, or hang out with ige, or if i'll be checking out stuff at hidalgo. all the negativity of this post is really just centered on the daily (monday to friday, six am to nine pm, chasing-after-buses) work commute. oh, you know what i mean.

sit down and write

2012-01-13T14:22:00.002+08:00

i had more discipline when i was younger. fine, i'll blame it on twitter and tumblr and everything else on the internet, but mostly i blame myself for being easily distracted and not being able to write as much and as often as before.

i would love to write about what interests me, and not just post a photo and a caption about what happened the day before. there are several websites and blogs that inspire me--most of them are linked in the sidebar under "i like". this blog is about 'little bits of me' anyway--so here's a list of what i want to write about!

images. i'm following sociological images, and it would be great to make short entries/posts similar to those, but with a more 'filipino' look, or an anthropological take on visual subjects/topics.

places & spaces. cities, abandoned places, ruins, art spaces, walls, seats, windowsills, staircases...i love them all. why not turn my appreciation into words?

cameras. i don't do camera reviews (i am not the super technical kind of person), so maybe just a few stories about oh--relationships with cameras. yes. perhaps you can tell me your stories about your cameras--where you got them, your most memorable experience / photo...i'm just a sucker for cameras, and i have a few of them, so why not write about them? i've done a few posts, but there's nothing wrong with adding more, right?

photography. but of course! i'm no hardcore photographer who overthinks about photography and probably goes into discussions between "what is, isn't photography" so rest assured i won't be much of a snob on the subject. i will forever be a student of photography (there's something to learn everyday), so this will probably about that--my neverending exploration in capturing light.

art & design. first, a disclaimer! i have never gone to art school or taken up a design-related course. i just like to think i have an eye for these kinds of things, and well, i don't really have to explain anymore. haha.

and a lot of really random stuff. like keychains (i love keychains) and ige's toys (he has some really cool ones).

i have a lot of other interests but i don't think i'll be writing about them: books, literature, music, some forms of visual art (specifically traditional painting), food, archaeology, green architecture, movies. maybe in the future when i run out of other things to say i'll go make a post about the latest restaurant i've been to, and maybe a review of their food. for now it's just not in me, much as i love eating. :)

i used to always have something to say about everything (which is not always a good thing; enter here the numerous arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings, debates, et cetera--you get the drift--i've sparked in one way or another), and maybe it's time to just write about all these things that are in my head. with due caution and prudence of course. it's good writing practice anyway.

(i can totally see myself at a cafe somewhere, reading and writing and sketching and being all academic and artsy at the same time. and jobless. which makes me wonder where i'll get the money to pay for coffee/hangout time in the first place... oh yeah. it's not being jobless--it's freelancing!)

good

2012-01-10T12:03:00.002+08:00

i did say i wanted to do something relevant in my life.

2011-->2012

2012-01-02T19:31:00.002+08:00

i told myself i shouldn't expect much for this year because i might end up disappointed and bitter, but there's hope, and in the end hope (and courage and determination) always finds a way to make things brighten up. here's to a bright 2012. happy new year everyone.

2012 doables

2011-12-30T18:05:00.000+08:00

i'll skip the intro that usually includes the year in review and instead go straight to The List.

continue:

sketching and watercoloring (practice, practice!)
journal writing (even snippets of the day)
film photography + joining photowalks
interval workouts + jogging on weekends
reading
crafting
drinking lots of water. i love water.
getting haircuts (i like being a pixie!)
working for the anthropological association of the philippines (i'm the new secretary! wish me luck!)
blogging (this blog turns 5 in 2012!)
traveling with miss iggy!

start:

thesis (ugh)
reading (academic stuff / stuff that can improve my soc sci-media knowledge)
learning to drive again
going back to yogilates (if budget permits!)
writing for a (semi-)living
creative journaling / a sketch/craft a day
cooking
scanning old photos
seriously saving up for batanes (and other stuff)
reviewing anthropology (since i'll be going back to school! hahaha)

so that's it. let's see how many of these i get to tick off this time next year.

(late) december sketches

2011-12-30T17:27:00.000+08:00

i'll probably do a bit more sketching before the year ends, but let me share with you some sketches i did the past couple of weeks. i'd like to think i'm getting better (ha ha ha). my hands / fingers / wrist / grip really needs some loosening up (please do consider that for the past 25+ years i've been "trained" to (hand)write, so while i'd also like to think i have good penmanship (he he he)), i do love sketching, and i hope to be better at it.
my sketching goal for 2012 is to learn to draw faces. i'm scared! i've tried sketching some, and i'm tad embarrassed of the outcome, haha. anyway. here's to another year of sketching (and watercoloring!).

so. here are my (late) december masterpieces, ladies and gentlemen.

less than an hour after i got my 'new' camera i sketched it while having some pretty strong coffee. didn't know what i was doing; i just needed an excuse to sit at the table and ogle at my camera. i was actually waiting for the mall to open so i can make a beeline for the train terminal without having to sweat it out outside. heh.

the train would take me to ayala, and i walked from the station to ayala triangle for the fountain pen network-philippines' christmas penmeet at amici. i had also wanted to drop by the urbansketchers-philippines' ayala triangle sketchwalk (since they were there at around the same time anyway), but i guess i got shy and i was late. i'll catch them next time. i did sketch what's on my table though.

ige and i met up to look for a christmas gift for his mom a few days later. we had dinner at dragon wok, and i loved their pancit canton.

my family and i went to ayala triangle again a couple of days before christmas, to take my niece to see the lights and sound show. while having merienda i sketched some dessert, a chair, part of a face (my dad's), and part of my youngest sister. i really should learn how to draw faces.

and because we hadn't really spent some "us" time, ige and i had a post-christmas date. while waiting for our lunch to be served we sketched. i realized i like sketching stuff on the table.

then we went to market market to do more walking around and sketching. afterwards we went to high street to window-shop. because we couldn't really buy anything there. we spent a good deal of time at fully booked though (notebooks!!! but i'm not supposed to buy any more!!!), and we had burger dinner under the stars. with some dogs walking around. then we went home.

that's it! my favorite sketching tool would probably be the brushpen (the second sketch/amici table). it's easy to make a so-so sketch look really nice. hehe.

now, to draw a (proper) face.

the late christmas delivery

2011-12-29T09:15:00.000+08:00

christmas has already come and gone, but because of the difficulty in land travel, we've discovered there were still some gifts that haven't been delivered!

"there's still so many of them, mama!" said baby mammoth.

"hey! this one has my name on it!"

"you can open your gift later. off to helping santa we go!"

and away they went, trunk in furry trunk.

* * *

[thank you ige for the mammoth mama & baby, and the stegosaurus!]

the tuesday morning suitor

2011-12-27T09:02:00.001+08:00

i was going to greet my cats a good morning.

then i saw this guy. i know all fifteen (or so) of my cats; this is not one of them.

i saw him hovering around my girl trio.

so i chased him off.

after a while she seemed sad.

her mom and sis were just watching

very closely.

they seemed okay with having him around.

but...you're my baby kitty!

he was still there, waiting.

he's kinda cute though.

and persistent.

see that look of determination on his face?

the final cut

2011-12-24T13:40:00.001+08:00

ok, enough vanity posts.

happy christmas from pixie me!

Whilst We Wait - works

2011-12-22T08:11:00.000+08:00

[For the benefit of those who were not able to see our exhibit last December 10. Thanks for viewing my film photographs here!]

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

* * *

everyday’s little things

Onecamera, one roll, thirty-six shots. Oneyear of waiting.

That was all I had forthis project. For some that might be toorisky; it was enough for me. Itook my camera (a Canon FTQL SLR I inherited from my grandfather) around thehouse once a month—on a weekend usually—and shot three frames with one go. My theme when I started out was “what’s new?”but eventually I found myself not wanting to take a photo according to thetheme, instead taking photos of whatever caught my attention—the“right-here-right-now” subject—during that one moment.

It’s a just collection of everydaythings, really.

These things are the ones we oftentake for granted. Imagine yourself stuckin a locked room full of these everyday things, and I’m sure you’ll give them asecond look, or consider them not-so-common after all. I think waiting is also an opportunity toappreciate what you have right now and the situation you are in. It’s learning to live in the present.

Doing the project wasn’t all azen-like experience for me, however. Thecamera I was using was really old, and I haven’t had it cleaned up inyears. There were times when I doubtedthe integrity of the shutter mechanism, and I kept on saying to myself, “Threeshots. Just three shots this month—andyou need at least one of them to be decent enough.” I was worried that nothing would turn up atall, and I wouldn’t have anything for that month. It was a risk, but it’s still part of what Ihave decided for the project. It was nonethelessa pleasant feeling to shoot for the project once a month and then tuck thecamera away again.

The project mademe realize that it’s not the wait that matters but what you do whilst youwait. In a way it’s not really waitinganymore, but entertaining yourself by doing something you love.

everyday’slittle things

Canon FTQL SLR

Agfa CT Precisa, crossprocessed

Canon AE-1 Program Test Roll

2011-12-19T19:49:00.001+08:00

Right after I got my Canon AE-1 Program, I loaded it immediately with Lucky 200 film. Here are some test shots, taken during the Fountain Pen Network-Philippines' December penmeet and during my visit to sick boy ige at his home.

Too bad about the photo lab's dirty scanner (based on these speckled photos, it looks like it hasn't been used in a while). But aside from that, I think the camera performs beautifully. *sigh of relief*

My only comment about the camera? Its 'scandalous' shutter sound! :P I think I've grown used to the silent but deadly talent of my Canonet rangefinder, haha. But hey it feels good to have an SLR in my hand. And it's always nice to hear the sound of the shutter curtain opening and closing, because you know the camera is doing its job. :)

The autoexposure function works well in low light (all of the photos here were taken indoors); I have yet to try it outdoors. Normally I would use a higher ASA film, say, Fuji Superia 400, when I know I'll be taking indoor shots. Using ASA 200 is kind of a 'real test' if the camera's metering and AE function works well.

That's about it for now. Expect more photos taken with this camera! Now, if only I can find new batteries, as I'm not sure how long the battery that's in the camera when I bought it will last. I sure hope Hidalgo has some--the 'usual' photo labs don't carry 6-volt [A544, also known as 4LR44, 544, PX28, PX28L, and 4SR44] batteries anymore. Wish me luck. Anyway, long live film!

day is made

2011-12-18T21:49:00.001+08:00

Fountain Pen Network-Philippines (FPN-P) Christmas Penmeet

December 17, 2011

Amici, Ayala Triangle Gardens

i had a great time ogling at and borrowing pens, and i also realized that the lamy safari isn't for me because of its contoured grip (thanks clem!). i ended up buying the platinum red ink (thanks john!) even though it was pretty expensive because it would go perfectly with the noodler's ahab flex pen that i won during the raffle (thanks to the donor..was it leigh?). yay!!!

i didn't take too many digital photos because i brought a "new" film camera along.

the canon ae-1 program! aside from the 50mm lens, it also came with a 28mm one! i was so lucky to find this combo in very good condition, at a very good price.

[the reese's are from ige. he bought the stuffed toy and the bowl back in singapore.]

welcome home, rose red and ahab!

it's my first time to try out a flex pen. i've been practicing writing with it. i hope i get better soon; i only have one pen and i don't want to waste all that pretty ink!

i used to have a canon ae-1 (the "earlier" version), which i liked so much i took with me to a community immersion in benguet, but i had to return it to the owner soon after owner & i broke up. haha. it wasn't really his anyway. oh well. i'm glad i have this now!

classic.

i also got to take home this nottle of black ink for fountain pens, because eilu the raffle winner didn't want it (she said it reminds her of school days and chinese calligraphy class).

i cleaned the camera and accidentally 'erased' the "passed" sticker. haha. it can still be seen, though the print's gotten faint.

practicing by writing christmas greetings...

and wishes!

and humor! ;)

awesome stuff just in time for christmas. truth is, i've been needing help getting into the spirit of the season. i guess someone up there heard me this time. ;)

i heart family weekend

2011-12-16T13:14:00.002+08:00

saturday, 10th of december. just when i thought i'd be going to the opening of our group project exhibit whilst we wait on my own, my mom said they'd be glad to see our film photographs and handwritten letters! after lunch, my mom and i met up with my youngest sister in trinoma, after which we took the train to ayala to meet up with my younger sister in greenbelt. we shopped around a bit before heading off to the show in 55 paseo de roxas.

one of the panels. my 'space' is the middle one at the leftmost side.

younger, youngest, and mother hen.

with my photo in the background.

i had actually forgotten what i took photos of. it was nice to see these images again (i refrained from opening the files via computer, haha).

our handwritten letters (mine are in the box third from bottom)

sister's got freaky eyelash shadows!

spot the photobomber :)

and that's us with my canonet rangefinder!

then we walked to the ayala triangle gardens for dinner. my mom's celebrating her 52nd birthday the following day, so she said it was going to be her pre-birthday treat. yay!

cbd! we had burgers, onion rings, and fries.

and apple walnut pie.

after dinner he waited for the lights and sound show to start.

it was an awesome show. i had goosebumps listening to the music and watching the lights! i wish it was 30 minutes long though.

sisters :)

after the show we took the bus home. we were tired from all the walking we did but we had a lot of fun.

sunday, 11th of december. the following day was my mom's birthday and the day before mom and dad's 30th wedding anniversary. we took them out to lunch. before we finished, my brother signaled the restaurant staff to bring out our surprise:

mini-me (super)dad and mini-me (wonder)mom!

we had the figurines custom made.

while they were pretending to be lost in the mall my brother and sis-in-law looked for a cake to put the figurines on.

my mom found it extremely funny and amusing that the superdad really looks like my dad, gap tooth and all.

a very good likeness! when we got home my mom put eyeshadow on her mini-me and put some gray "hairs" on my dad's mini-me, to make the figurines look more realistic. hahaha.

my sisters had to buy something from the mall. we waited for them by hanging out in the arcade.

see the look of concentration on my niece's face? she's been like that ever since we got in the arcade.

this is a really challenging race...

so challenging that my dad needs an assistant!

on our way to the parking lot my niece dragged me to the ferris wheel. best. ride. ever.

christmas is just around the corner! i hope you have fun full of memorable, meaningful moments with your loved ones! :) happy holidays!

wishlist, i guess

2011-12-13T14:56:00.001+08:00

a lot has happened the past few days; unfortunately i've also been too busy to blog about them. maybe i can squeeze in a few paragraphs and photos in tomorrow's post, assuming i actually get myself to blog about how i've been and what i've been up to.

i've been telling myself and some friends about i don't really need anything for christmas, and then i remembered it's pretty easy to justify buying needs when it's not christmas. christmas is for wants--you won't feel guilty about buying a want during christmas.

a couple of saturdays ago i got myself sony mdr-zx100 headphones in gray (my eyes see a bit of olive drab mixed with the gray though). i've been itching to get another pair of earphones for my laptop at home, so i won't have to remove my earphones from my media player. i kinda live in the noisy part of the house so i was really glad to find this set in my favorite color.

as for my wishlist, here goes.

1. a ricoh gr digital iii camera.

but because that's expensive (cheapest: 19,000 pesoses) and i will be soon without a regular income, i can settle for a cheaper wide-angled sony cyber-shot, just so i can have a digital camera i can take with me everywhere. don't worry, i still primarily shoot with film. :)

2. a north face recon se daypack.

because sometimes, backpacks designed for laptops (i bought one in september) just won't be able to weather it out as much as a proper daypack can.

3. this pair of keds.

because it's the only pair that caught my eye in shoe salon.

4. a schleich stegosaurus. it's my favorite dinosaur (even if i do have a t-rex on my wall, and would like to have a t-rex pendant).

i would be glad to have a woolly mammoth parent + child too.

5. a lamy safari fountain pen in aquamarine, fitted with an xf nib.

i have a whole bunch of notebooks waiting to be written on by this baby. hey, making the grocery list counts as writing, right?

and of course there's the usual wishes for love, happiness, and world peace.

i hope you guys have a meaningful christmas, and remember that even if we don't get what we want, we can always be thankful for what we already have. :) cheers.

sunday at seven

2011-12-04T07:55:00.001+08:00

good morning!

i woke up to my mother making breakfast in the kitchen.

morning braids

my cat who lives on the kitchen window sill.

spassky woke up from slumbering on my car.

the cat who sees me off when i leave every morning. i love you bugoy!

my niece is so adept at these things. here she is playing angry birds.

she knows how to take aim, too!

breakfast

can you tell which place is mine?

because i smell like bacon.

it started to rain after breakfast. we're attending a cousin's wedding later. what do you have planned for sunday? i hope you have a great day! :)

Summer of 2003

2011-11-25T09:17:00.001+08:00

I was digging around my bookshelf for something I can lend to my brother (he's been reading the Twilight series and I wanted to save him) when I came upon some of my old notebooks. I'm quite good at notebook hoarding but not in filling them up, so I'm left with a bunch of not-even-half-filled notebooks. Anyway, I took one book, "The Official Day to Day Notebook" I bought from Papemelroti, and turned to the first page.

say hi to my teenage wit.

The next entry in the notebook was dated Wednesday, April 2, 2003:

----------------------------

Summer boredom to be extinguished by the promise of more things to come, other stuff to do

Accomplishments so far--
climbed at PowerUp Pasig w/ the BIGKIS kids [new friends thru Ronald & Brian: Carlo, Eric, Luther, Chinky, Ate Beth (I think) etc. etc.]
exercise - stretching, jogging, walked around
joined GRABE ROCK fun bouldering competition last March 29 at the ATC (w/ Bri) -- got shirt!
learned how to burn CDs (did 7 so far)
read novels at speed record (1 novel a day)
watched: Gangs of New York, Possessions, Maid in Manhattan
arranged the many pics
made a "bracelet"
bought my own chalk bag
proved to myself I need more practice at climbing
spent time w/ Brian & Ronald, wishing more would come from the relationship than just climbing fellowship (I wish to have deeper friendship!)

Don't laugh. I was nineteen and lovesick.

Ronald & Brian were friends who lived 'down south' (Paranaque), who went to the climbing gym 'up north' (Quezon City) to climb. I met them when I took wallclimbing lessons that summer. The BIGKIS group was their church youth group I think, and I met them when we tried out PowerUp's outdoor wallclimbing facility. Initially my mother didn't want me wallclimbing (she considers it an extreme, dangerous sport), and only agreed to let me have them if I took my brother along. So Kuya and I took lessons with these guys, at PowerUp in Tandang Sora (QC).

The bouldering competition is a memorable one--I think Ronald had measles and couldn't compete, so it was just me and Bri. I was tad nervous--it was my first time to travel to Alabang by myself (I took the bus, and, on my way home, was almost caught jaywalking--I pretended to be lost, which I really was anyway), and I was a complete noob at the sport. After my round (women's amateur), Bri and I took off, too scared and embarrassed to find out about the results. It was only later that we were told they were looking for us, because apparently I got third place! Yay! Of course, it helped a lot that there were only three of us in my division. :P But what the heck. I loved the sport, and wanted so much to get better at it that I bought my own chalk bag and started to save up for rock shoes and more climbing sessions. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to climb walls again after that year. :(

The next and last entry in the notebook was written like this:
------------------------

May 19 - additional

Joined the UP-ASP & KAPI's Field School at Taal, Batangas --> learned a lot of new things & met a lot of new people
Watched X-men 2 w/ ___
Climbed @ PowerUp TS w/ Brian and ___
Made a fool of myself in front of Eric
Talked to Ramil (Ramil Gulle, whom I considered my mentor in the writing community)
More movies! -- Bought a copy of "The Dead Poets Society"
Renewed interest for constellations, made my own "sky"
Poetry's back, in small amounts
Started writing in a journal again
Getting interested in photography, read mythology
Gained weight! Aaargh!!!

Aaah, summer. Hahaha.

I was really itching to do something relevant that summer, and, armed with my (impressive, of course) grades for the previous semester, I asked my mother to let me join an archaeological field school I'd seen in the newspaper. "Let it be my prize," I asked, very nicely. I was so happy when she said yes, go ahead. I think I'll do another post on that field school, an awesome time when I met some of the coolest people I know, and which further heightened my interest in archaeology (and sleeping in tents, haha).

I was really too old to get a prize for high grades, but I really, really wanted a reason to go away (what's summer without a summer fling, I mean thing, right?)!

The blanks uh, hide a name because of security reasons. :P

The "sky" I made are two pieces of blue-black construction paper cut into a circle. One piece was the northern hemisphere at a certain time of the year (July at 7pm, I think), and the other was the southern hemisphere. Based on an astronomy book, I plotted the constellations on the papers and, using a dressing pin, punched out the 'stars'. The constellations would then come out when I used the paper to cover a light source in front of me. I studied the constellations for quite some time (try me), and wished I lived in a place where it was easy to go stargazing without the brightness of the city lights.

How did I get interested in the night sky in the first place? Well, it was also a result of that trip to Batangas. More on this in that upcoming field school post (which I really have to write soon, before I forget).

I think 2002-2003 was a very teenage angst-filled phase in my life (including the icky 'love problems') and I did a lot of soul-searching (awww) then. But I felt happy and accomplished to have been able to do and learn about a lot of new things, especially burn music CDs (and give them away to friends). Who still does that?

Sigh. It was nice looking back to that year. I'm glad I can still remember those moments, thanks to my notebooks and my then-journal-writing self.

midweek photos

2011-11-23T17:29:00.001+08:00

can you tell what i like taking photos of? :)

photos from four hours away

2011-11-22T10:39:00.001+08:00

sorry for the lame title. can't get myself to think "writerly" and so i will just leave you with some images i took yesterday when i went on fieldwork to nueva ecija.

and here's a bonus tuesday hair chronicle: presenting my "true" hair (no blowdrying, no gel, no nothing)--curly and wavy with a mind of its own.

cheers.

Whilst We Wait

2011-11-19T22:42:00.001+08:00

Lomography Manila presents:
WHILST WE WAIT
a project on waiting

featuring handwritten letters and film photographs of:
Denver Garza, Erin Emocling, Francis Ybanez, Geli Balcruz, Gerhard Bandiola, Ivanka Hicban, Jam Licupa, Jane and Josef Fortuna, Jenny Bautista, Jimmy Hilario, Joy Asto, Kara Hizon, Lakan Bunyi, Lauren Villarama, Louie Nucup, Rene Nob, Shabby Pablo, and Virna Odiver

with acoustic sets by:
Hannah+Gabi, Mount Analogue, Outerhope, Slow Hello, and The Strangeness

December 10 2011, 4 PM onwards
55 Paseo de Roxas, Makati City

media partners:
Lomography, Manila Bulletin, Young Star, and UNO Magazine

poster by:
Bijan Gorospe

right now

2011-11-18T16:52:00.001+08:00

the magic of afternoons.

hey november

2011-11-14T11:02:00.001+08:00

you're okay.

(so far.)

random shots taken with my (gasp!) 3.2-mp cellphone camera.

my cousins' dog. she's very nice.

i'm not really good at tying hair, but i think i succeeded in making a practical, hair-off-the-nape ponytail for my niece. (this was how i did my long hair four years ago! i would have five to six bands.)

some of the dogs (we have seven) on a warm sunny afternoon. yup, they take over the sofa set. top: katya, dachshund; middle: frankie, boston terrier; and bottom: dutchess (this is how i spell her name okay), shih tzu. zzz.

meanwhile, fuzzie doesn't love me. i have grown to accept that fact. oh well he doesn't love anyone. he only notices me when he wants food. i try to cuddle with him and he slinks away!

almost correct. i don't remember pronouncing an 's' sound after my name, so uh, i don't know why they think i have a boy's name.

---

bonus webcam shot!

i had my third and final dose of anti-cervical cancer vaccine. :)

so, what else do you have in store for me, november?

five for friday

2011-11-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

three photos,

and a couple of sketches.

can you see the scream?

my purple brush pen's tip has split, which makes really nice hair.

okay that was an awkward sentence.

happy halloween!

2011-11-03T16:50:00.003+08:00

My sister woke me up in the middle of my afternoon nap to ask if I wanted to come along for the parish trick or treat activity for the kids.

“Mhhmhmmhhmmmh,” I said. My sister gave me one of my dad’s hats, and off we went.

My parents. Mom did a fierce unibrow.

With my niece Miel, who dressed up as a fairy.

changes

2011-10-30T21:17:00.001+08:00

sometimes things don't turn out the way you hoped.

sometimes you just have to accept that not everything works according to plan.

there are disappointing things. surprising things. hurtful things. disappearing things.

maybe things will work out.

maybe they won't.

one thing's for sure:

my hair's short again, yay!

and i think i'll keep it that way for a long, long while.

new tools

2011-10-27T17:12:00.000+08:00

i was feeling blah this afternoon so i decided to take a walk to what is perhaps the most well-known and well-patronized school-and-art supply shop in the vicinity of the university. i was planning to buy a new sakura brush pen, but the shop ran out of stock. i decided to try a cheap chinese refillable brush pen--it was the only brush pen left--and a small bottle of ideal (that's the brand) drawing ink. i looked around for a notebook that can take the ink (and preferably watercolor too) and found this:

not as popular as the "leading brand" that starts with an m, but worth a try, heheh.

it was cheap at sixty-two pesos, and seemed thick enough for watercolors, so i grabbed one.

i should have grabbed all of it. (maybe later, on my way home!) i tried it out immediately:

sakura brushpen and prang colors.

i like it a lot. i can see myself taking it anywhere (lol feeling artist talaga), and the paper isn't too white, unlike my other watercolor pads. it has just the teeniest bit of texture. i'm just not so sure about the binding, though. heh. anyway.

as for the chinese brushpen, i've filled it out with ink, and the first few strokes were--mm, should i say--i need more practice with the thing. the tip dries out quickly, and i'm afraid i'll squirt it accidentally over a favorite shirt. haha.

i'm looking forward to doing a lot of sketches this long weekend, especially when we visit the cemetery on the 31st. wish me luck.

october sketches

2011-10-25T11:29:00.000+08:00

quick sketches done using brushpens. i think i like brushpens more than unipins. heheh.

my Philippine Airlines flight departure was moved to NAIA Terminal 3. i hung around for a while at Kopiroti before heading on to the departure area.

a few minutes before boarding...

the wing can be an interesting subject, why not?

shoe.

a panel session during our conference

hanging out in the boys' room because my roommate was feeling sick and she turned off the airconditioner.

my slippers, jessie's bag, and a foot stool.

a band member who played the kudyapi (or whatever it's called in their language)

ketchup bottle from where we ate a giant pizza for dinner

chair. i like chairs.

carabao getting ready to be milked

and a big serving of buko juice for lunch, before going to the airport for our flight home.

props

2011-10-25T10:17:00.001+08:00

L-R: Catch As Catch Can by Joseph Heller (of Catch-22 fame), Deaf In America by Carol Padden and Tom Humphries, and Light at the Edge of the World by Wade Davis.

These books made their way to Bukidnon from Manila, as airport / bedroom reading material that were never read. They belong to three different people.

The first one on the left is mine. I got it from Booksale for forty-five pesos (reduced from seventy-five). It has short fiction. I like short stories. And books on sale.

The second one is Rej's. The book is for his thesis; he's doing a study on sign language and Deaf identity. I think it's cool. I miss signing, and I'm afraid I've forgotten most of what I learned three years ago.

The third one is Butch's. He takes care of his books really well--the one he lent me last year is also covered in plastic. Wade Davis is a National Geographic explorer; you might have seen his work on NGC.

It just feels good to have a book around, don't you think?

*The Skyflakes (care of Rej), were never eaten. The water, however, was consumed, the medicine was taken, and the belt was worn. The unread books are now back in Manila.

four days

2011-10-25T09:55:00.000+08:00

in Bukidnon.

climb ev'ry mountain (well, just four)

2011-10-11T08:50:00.002+08:00

2003. i was in college and i badly needed a distraction from thinking too much about an ex (lol right), so i did what i have been what-iffing about ever since i gazed at big mountains: join a mountaineering club.

thanks to tere suratos for being our official photographer!

mt. san cristobal climb. coldest climb ever (it was raining when we ascended, our teeth chattered as we slept).

can you see me? of course not! loljk, i'm the one at the leftmost, light blue shirt. (pico de loro fun climb, cutad beach-ineering)

more san cristobal shots, before our descent. prana's still with us. RIP, sis. you should've played paintball with us when i invited you (she replied, saying, "punta akong mindoro e".--i didn't know she would be trying to catch up with the others at mt. halcon. then i received the sad news--that they had not heard from her, launching a massive search. her body was found around a week later). :(

my photobombing skills ftw.

i only managed to join four official climbs (tarak ridge, pico de loro, san cristobal, banahaw) before choosing to spend weekends camping in a new boyfriend's room instead. the relationship lasted four years (what the hell was i thinking?), but my friendship with these guys--especially my batchmates--continues to this day, but i have yet to rejoin them in a climb. what's so cool about the experience: you help each other go to the top and back. and there really is something about shouting at the top of your lungs when you get there. i had two major climbs left (the skills climb and the initiation climb) before i was to be officially recognized as a member, and i gave it all up for "love". dopey ain't it, and quite ironic, because i met the guy in da club, and he didn't like me to go on climbing, because, pretty girl that i am (lol), he kinda sensed some other guys were also into me (fresh meat much). anyway.

i posted these pictures because ige mentioned something about a photo of him when he attended a 2003 comics festival. and because i'm that good, i found them! yes, not one, but two photos! :P

can you see him? dude's rockin' the white (edit: he says it's faded beige) sneakers. and the long hair. haha.

photos found on Gerry Alanguilan's Multiply page.

sigh. the stuff we were into then. not much has changed i think--i still climb ~~mountains~~ hills for work, and ige well, he's rediscovered his love for comics-related stuff. er, toys. see his stuff here!

look what i found!

2011-10-05T11:44:00.002+08:00

or, look what i kept all these years to make into scratch paper!

it's a leaflet! this was how we used to disseminate info before twitter, kids.

also, say hello to my uniform. :P

this was how i wrote a press release.

when i was an undergraduate student, i was part of this ~~elitist~~ underground organization. we wrote a lot and we bashed each other's works a lot too. we loved and hated each other. it was really fun.

we used to hold poetry readings once a year; it was a tradition. smoking was still allowed in the campus, and sometimes you can smell a faint, sweet scent, and you would grin at each other. colayco park still existed, where all things magical happen at any time of the day, but mostly at night. smirk.

ah, those were the days.

now that organization's been recognized, but i don't get to hear much about what they're doing. do they still write a lot, hold workshops (that would hopefully result in ustetika and/or palanca-winning works), and point out errors in the official campus paper? do they still read, experiment, ask the great (or, the more experienced) ones for advice (about writing and love), make friends (and eventually make out) with other campus writers, conduct poetry readings on a whim, make renggas, and strive to be better writers?

do they make (awesome, AWESOME--don't argue with me) leaflets? or just facebook and tweet their way to literary fame?

lol, fame. better butcher* yourself, lauren.

------
butcher: verb, to severely critique a literary work during a workshop, or anytime at all, really.

the last film batch, august

2011-10-03T15:22:00.001+08:00

here are some film photos i took last august.

chairs at The Frazzled Cook.

[blackbird, fly TLR]

mirror shot at a crowded house somewhere in Mimosa :P

[Canonet QL17 GIII rangefinder]

it was misty outside.

[Canonet QL17 GIII rangefinder]

first frame burn.

[blackbird, fly TLR]

nipa hut

[Diana Mini]

Christian

[Canonet QL17 GIII rangefinder]

good morning.

[Canonet QL17 GIII rangefinder]

Value City
[Canonet QL17 GIII rangefinder]

we're lucky

2011-09-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

this is the 'worst', immediate vicinity-wise.

i'm sure others had it worse. i feel sorry for them, and i hope they get back, or rebuild, what they have lost.

can i tell you something? i feel bad about the uprooted trees, the fallen branches, the wasted fruits, the damaged crops. the animals without shelter, the shivering birds, the dripping dogs, the broken cats.

so much kilig.

2011-09-15T11:16:00.005+08:00

[image from azrael's merryland]

thursday thoughts

2011-09-15T10:26:00.003+08:00

a whole mug of coffee.

why i'll regret this:

it's a whole mug
i made it myself

and because i made it myself, it has:

one teaspoonful of nescafe first pick coffee (bought last year, it will expire this october)
two teaspoonfuls of creamer
three teaspoonfuls of white sugar

:|

and because i made it myself,

it doesn't really taste awesome :(

---
in other news:

it's really difficult not to be tempted by all (old and wonderful) film cameras being sold. i've been yearning (that's heavy stuff) for a fully manual slr to re-learn photography with, something lighter than my canon ftql. i'm looking at different olympus, pentax, minolta, and nikon models with good lenses, and i've seen some around online stores. when i see a good one that's been "sitting in the closet since the nineties", i go aww and imagine myself shooting with it. "poor camera, let me take care of you."

points to ponder:

no matter how badass your camera is, it doesn't make your photography better. [it's the statement of the bitter, which i sometimes am, whenever i see people toting their dslrs and shooting "creative bokeh".]
you don't need an expensive camera to make good photos. [another statement, for the bitter, poor, but talented photographer, which i would like to think i am, braving criticisms of how highly i think of myself.]

hohoho. but i really should choose to be happy, and thankful, for what i have. it's not the camera, it's the person behind it, anyway.

okay, having a 'good' camera helps. 'good' is relative. = aside from the specs (insert technical stuff here), i think a 'good' camera for me must have: good grip (fits well in my hand), good weight (there are days i do want to bring along a "heavy" camera), and yes, good looks (i melt at classic lines).

a camera that bonds well with you = a fulfilling relationship. ;)

i love this camera. i'm excited to take it out again soon! :)

not good.

2011-09-13T17:05:00.002+08:00

i couldn't get myself to work on a documentary script for work, so i took a breather and searched for some stuff that could help me have an idea on what to (finally) work on for my thesis.

i've been feeling really down since yesterday. maybe it's my monthlies, maybe it's simple disappointment in things. whatever it is, it's draining me.

i thought a walk outside would do me good. i felt i had to buy something to somehow make myself feel better. a notebook, i thought, just a small one, where i could write and doodle thesis-related stuff. i thought i'd also take the opportunity to withdraw some cash from the bank near the school supplies store. i only had fifty bucks left in my purse.

because i wanted to have as much shade from the afternoon sun as possible, i walked along a.h. lacson street, where the university walls and buildings provided some shade.

i could see a cat lying down in the middle of the sidewalk. it was unusual, unless it was dead.

it was.

as i got nearer, i could see it was a healthy cat. it was probably run over by a tricycle, or a motorcycle. yes, those things take over pedestrian walkways just because they can, the fuckers.

sometimes i wish i had a steel pipe i can toss at the wheels with whenever a rider comes honking at people on the sidewalk. a rider being tossed out of his motorcycle onto the gutter should teach a lesson: this is for pedestrians, you assholes. get off the goddamn sidewalk.

there was a street sweeper nearby. i told her about the dead cat. she looked in the direction i pointed to then resumed sweeping.

i wondered if the cat belonged to the old lady who sells candy and cigarettes at the corner. she has a lot of cats. but when they leave for the night, the cats disappear too. perhaps they go home with her.

i had been reading on cruelty and animal welfare, pet companionship, and anthrozoology. yes, that is the new direction of my thesis life. i've been thinking of doing case studies of pets of the homeless, and those with disabilities, in the city. i am still not sure about this.

where do street sweepers put dead cats and dogs left on the street?

i had once been told one of my cats didn't come home. it wasn't until a couple of years later that i learned she had actually been run over. they just didn't want me to get upset.

once, my ex run over one of my kittens, even when i had told him there were cats under the car. he didn't even say he was sorry. we had been fighting, about something i don't remember now. i should have broken up with him right then and there, but i guess i was stupid enough then to stay for a year more.

i wrapped the kitten up in my softest shirt and left the bundle on a table by the laundry to be buried in the morning. i left a note on the fridge. in the morning my mom gave me the surviving sibling to hug.

the bank's atm was offline. the universe sure has a way of telling me things. but i had fifty bucks, so i still went in the store.

i spent twenty minutes picking a notebook. i finally settled for a thin, light green one, with little purple hearts and flowers. it had a sewn spine and a face of a cat on the cover, with the words "Bonds love". i was left with eighteen pesos.

i avoided walking along the same street on my way back to the office. i didn't want to encounter the dead cat again, if ever the street sweep hasn't gotten around to taking her somewhere else.

when a a loved one has died, we say "she's in a better place now" more for our sake, to somehow lessen our grief. so for my sake, the cat is in a better place now.

i wish i could say the same for myself, and find myself in a better place. walking won't really get me there, but i guess i can try.

A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.

William S. Burroughs

i feel like beating someone up. i actually have a person in mind. i've never met her, but if i do, i bloody will throw her down to the ground and grind her ovaries down with my pretty foot.

kidding. those kinds of creatures don't even deserve any kind of attention anymore.

but it's fun just thinking and writing about it. i feel a bit better now. writing is therapy?

a bum's life

2011-09-10T08:59:00.000+08:00

by june next year, i will have left my job to concentrate on being a graduate student--attending penalty classes and doing my long-overdue thesis.

i am so excited!

well, except for the fact that i will have no income, i am looking forward to doing a lot of things i haven't been able to do ever since getting a regular job.

aside from the student-on-thesis-mode life, here are the things on my to-do list (which really won't make me so much of a bum):

take a refresher course on driving
learn to cook--a new dish a week!
run, jog, ride my bike, walk around in the mornings (or afternoons)
spend time with my pets
do some street photography
go on a sketchcrawl
practice my coloring (colored pens, watercolor, gouache)
craft some stuff
explore new places
write, write, write
read, read, read
scan old photographs
freelance (i've been a production coordinator, magazine writer, house builder, wall painter, and pet sitter among other things, so i guess i can do whatever i set my mind to)
volunteer for a cause
catch up on bones (season 4 was the last one i watched!)

aaaand that's all i can think of right now. i'm really excited for this "new venture" and even if i won't have a regular 8-5 job (and the cash that comes with it), i feel like there's so much i'll be able to accomplish. :) [crossing fingers]

here's to the good bum's life!

(photo taken by a colleague using my Canonet QL17 GIII)

i look at all the lonely people

2011-09-09T19:45:00.001+08:00

drab

2011-09-05T14:48:00.000+08:00

live performance: they're doing it right.

2011-09-02T19:23:00.000+08:00

Counting Crows - Round Here / Raining in Baltimore from "August And Everything After -- Live At Town Hall" [2011]

i would probably do a lengthier post but i am currently still in that shattered state every time i listen to (or watch, in this case) a live performance of the counting crows. this is just so, so beautiful.

another favorite of mine is their performance of Round Here on the Howard Stern Show (audio only, the song itself starts at 1:20):

adam in a bunny outfit is <3

what is wazak.

mad solid

2011-08-31T12:52:00.003+08:00

finally. the end of mercury retrograde.

not that i'm blaming astrology for all the month's effery.

well, pwede rin.

cut!

2011-08-24T08:47:00.001+08:00

my hair: even if i want to sport a more impressive length, my scalp says no, and warns me by letting go of oh, a handful a week. i know i've reached my length limit when hair fall happens. time to snip.

and by snipping i mean an extreme amount of hair, rather than just a trim.

ige was joking (was he?) about me sporting a short, gel-ible style and he having the long hair ~~which makes him look like russell brand~~. i can't, i said. i have a big round face; i'll look too butch!

the change may also do me some good to disguise me from the bad luck that's been hovering around me this month (like my beloved rats getting sick and dying). folkloric, yes? hmm. anyway, the haircut would also go well with the other changes that's been going on: in work, my studies, and who knows, perhaps even in doing projects and my photography! i've been terribly bland photo-wise; i need something to perk me up--definitely not a new camera (hahaha) but a new idea, just--something.

(sigh.)

i'm going for some coffee. i'm currently into 7-eleven's mocha cappuccino and croley foods' ensaymada-flavored butter cream crackers. [little bits of consumer happiness for the burnt-out office girl with a dream bigger than all of the world's pimples combined!]

what i do to vienna sausage

2011-08-23T13:30:00.005+08:00

this post is inspired by ige's lunch today ("may baon ako byena soseyg"). :)

i like vienna sausage, but i don't eat them straight out of the can. they look too pale, too "raw" for me, and so i do a couple of things to them before they move in to my stomach. kinda defeats the purpose of its being 'ready-to-eat', huh? oh well. good luck to me when i have to eat them "raw" during an emergency!

so what do i do to vienna sausage?

A - The American (or so i think, obviously stereotyping)

i put all the sausages in the toaster and heat them up until the skin is almost brown, and almost crunchy. i turn them over every once in a while to prevent the skin from sticking to the toaster tray, and for an 'even' brown. (not that it matters.) while they're toasting, i get a tall tumbler and pour in some coke. then i hunt for some potato chips (preferably classic lay's--mmm!). when the sausages are done i put them on a small plate and, munching chips between sausages, i watch a movie. i would probably die in a few years if i did this often.

B - The Pinoi (just because i think i'm not the only one who does this in this part of the world)

as with The American, i heat up the sausages in the toaster until they're brown. while they're tanning, i prepare around 3-4 pieces of pan de sal (or "tasty" bread) and grab some mayonnaise. when the sausages are gorgeously done, i put them in a bowl and mash them with a fork. sometimes i put the pan de sal in the toaster to warm while i mix in mayo with the sausage. then i fill the pan de sal with the mayo-y, sausage-y goodness. great with coke or coffee. or iced tea. and some kundiman in the background, yo.

C - The Simple, Pero Rock (i'm staying away from stereotypes now)

open the can and put 'em in the pan. fry until satisfied, and you're done! oldskool, greasy and good--eat with bread or rice (or both). i think i must try this with beer. ;)

i enjoy them all, but my favorite would be The Pinoi. how about you, do you like vienna sausage too? (wow, that rhymed!)

2am story

2011-08-22T17:05:00.002+08:00

last night i slept early (9pm). i was tired. i set my alarm (4:30am), checked to see how darcy was doing (on his side, asleep), and slumbered peacefully until a CRASH! woke me up.

it didn't sound like paper. or books. or a water bottle. or my bag, which would have sounded like a THUD. it was a CRASH, the sort of sound you'd hear when something heavy and resonant falls to the floor, from a height.

it could only be one thing.

("oh shit.")

i jumped out of bed and grazed my hand on my desk in the dark. what should have been there wasn't.

("shit, shit, shit.")

i ran to turn on the light.

and it was there, on the floor: my week-old laptop, bottom up. a few inches away was the wooden book stand i use as laptop platform.

also there was one of my cats, the one who likes to sneak into my room through my window. spassky jumped from my desk, sensing perhaps that he'd done something wrong because i was making all these fast movements and glaring at him. i made him go out the window again with a spanking on his butt and a "no spassky! bad!". i finally locked the window flap shut with a twist wire.

i went over to darcy's box and checked him. he was asleep (but in a different position). relief. good thing the cats haven't discovered that i now keep my lone rat in my room, and that i let him walk around freely while he's sick.

next, i took the laptop and shook it a bit, listening for anything loose inside. didn't hear anything. then i put the laptop back on my desk and hurriedly checked for anything broken. pushed the power button on and wished so hard it was okay (warranty terms were already floating around my head, particularly the "seven days replacement" thing, then i remembered it's been more than a week since i bought it, and i didn't want to go through the hassle of having it repaired, bla bla bla). the screen granted me my wish; the machine started up fine. i found the memory card slot cover on the floor and put it back in. the cd drive popped out normally-- i'll have to check if the reader-burner functions work though. that was all my sleep-muddled mind was able to command my body to do at two in the morning.

satisfied that my rat was safe in bed and that my laptop showed no signs of brain damage, i went back to sleep.

Ako at si Jollibee

2011-08-18T11:44:00.001+08:00

Naisipan kong gumawa ng isang tribute post para sa isa sa pinakamamahal kong kaibigan. Nakwento kasi ng nanay ko na tuwang-tuwa 'yung mga pinsan kong Stateside noong unang nakakita ng Jollibee branch sa Pinas. Ang laki raw kasi, di tulad nu'ng sa New York, na ga-booth lang ata. Hehehe.

Mahal namin si Jollibee. Kung pwede lang taon-taon doon magbertdey ang pamangkin ko.

Nagpapahalik siya.

Yakap niya ang lahat.

Mahal kita, Jollibee.

I will always be your girl.

The Kodak Roll Mystery

2011-08-09T13:43:00.001+08:00

When my scanned film photos arrived, I was excited to see how my Banaue shots turned out. I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

Photos from eight years ago. Not mine.

They were photos of ige's family, including his grandparents--who have since left their earthly lives behind.

I was confused and bewildered. I immediately asked ige if he remembers giving me a film roll. He doesn't.

*dun dun dun dunnn*

First, let me go back to the circumstances surrounding the film.

I had in my possession a Kodak Max 400 film with its film lead (the part sticking out of the film) already inside the canister. It's been with me for such a long time I don't even remember where I bought it. I believe I was supposed to use it on a different camera before, then changed my mind, rewinding the film back into the canister. I turned the rewind knob a little too much and ended up with the film lead stuck inside the canister.

This May when I was about to go on a trip to Banaue, I decided to use the film. I had a photo lab pull the film out (I was too lazy to make my own film puller), and put the film in my LC-A. Then I snapped away, taking pictures not only of the rice terraces but of family and friends as well.

When I finally had five exposed rolls (five being the maximum number of film rolls that can be scanned and burned to a cd), I took them to Digiprint, and waited. I was excited because the films have been sitting undeveloped on my bedside table for two months--this is the kind of waiting that digital junkies will never understand. Haha.

The cd containing the scanned photos was delivered to my doorstep three days later. I immediately opened the package, borrowed my mom's laptop (mine's already zonked out of service), and popped the cd in. I looked for the Banaue folder, clicked on the first photo, and saw this.

Ah, the view from my window in Banaue. So nice. And look, a frame lightleak/ frame burn!

What's next, I thought.

Well, this came after:

That's ige's grandfather Lolo Jim. He died in 2005.

Can you see the outline of the upside-down mountain?

I also brought the camera on a swimming trip (if you look at the upper portion closely you'll see a poolside).

The double exposure, clearly.

So what happened here?

Obviously, I exposed an already-exposed film that resulted in double exposures. My exposures didn't affect the pre-exposed film enough to completely wipe out the first exposure because it was brighter than my (dark) exposures.

The film lead was in the canister not because I thought I'd over-rewound it; it was in the canister because it was already exposed. How long it's been in my film box, I have no idea.

How did ige's film get into my stash in the first place? He says he must have given it to me, and must have forgotten to tell me to have it developed with the rest of my rolls.

But how come I don't remember? I don't remember receiving any film roll from him, fresh or otherwise.
And, even if he did forget to tell me, how come I don't remember asking him what is was, if he needs it to be developed, what do I do with it, etc.?

Neither of us remembers. Weird.

Wanna know a bit more? The day before I got the cd was Lolo Jim's death anniversary.

pens, pens, pens (and notebooks too)!

2011-08-08T10:07:00.001+08:00

Fountain Pen Network-Philippines' Anniversary Penmeet last July 9 at Amici, Ayala Triangle Gardens.

I won notebooks and a blue Cross ink during the raffle! :D

little girl using a fountain pen--how cute!

prizes galore!

the unofficial mascots

eilu doodling

beng & butch dalisay :)

all photos taken with my Canonet. :)

friends on film

2011-08-08T09:53:00.000+08:00

as promised, film photos of my friends' bridal dinners!

clear shot of my left toes.

obligatory pre-wedding ugly pic.

this is why we're fat

took the centering of the poster seriously.

all photos taken with a lomo lc-a and fuji superia 400 film.

the renegade lock

2011-08-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

hi. the lock of my hair i'm holding isn't supposed to be that short. the damn stylist who cut my bangs for a side sweep (this was in june) got too eager and snipped too much. he clearly wasn't paying attention to how my hair falls around my head, and for that i am never going back to their salon again.

speaking of hair--i'm getting bored. again.

in other news, i'm finally getting my film rolls from may up to july developed. i find it sad that digiprint branches are dwindling (i always avail of their film-to-cd-and-deliver service), and i was surprised to receive a call from one of their staff who said they were willing to pick up my rolls. :) haven't heard from them today, though, so i guess i'm off to the next nearest branch. i'm still shooting film, don't worry :)

will post long-overdue film photos soon.

bridal dinners!

2011-08-01T09:25:00.001+08:00

two of my closest friends are getting married a month apart. dash, who waited with me for our dads to drive us home on p.e. fridays back in our freshman year in high school, is having her wedding this saturday. mich, dash, susa, and i had a bridal shower/pre-wedding dinner last friday. we weren't really into hiring gyrating males anyway. :P

onay, whom i've always admired as the mature one in our group of twelve-year-olds (aside from her being the one who got her menses first, heheh), will be married on the tenth of september. cha, who will be getting married herself next year, set up a bridal shower (minus the gyrating males too) at her house last saturday.

best wishes cake from cha to the soon-to-be bride and mommy!

i brought my ~~spaceship~~ fuji instax mini along. it was a hit! :)

tinette, onay, laurie, and marvin. marvin's a friend of cha and onay since high school. look at our food!

angel's pizza (spicy tuna and cheeseburger), kfc chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and brownies. fairview quickie takeouts for the win! :D

mini cupcake toast!

i think pink lipstick looks good on me. :P (lol at my "juma-japan" pose)

cute mini cupcakes!

we watched the time machine and said a lot of mean things about it (ha ha ha). i did share that the only thing i liked about it was jeremy irons.

our little group of carmelians fourteen years after graduation from grade school. he he he. tight as ever!

thanks to cha for the photos!

seven

2011-07-25T13:33:00.000+08:00

next summer

2011-07-19T08:08:00.000+08:00

is it weird that i am excited to be jobless?

it's final. my mind is set.

gawsh i hope my mother feeds me and gives me an occasional allowance for books and transportation.

i've already told my guy i wouldn't be able to pitch in for dinner dates then. i'll just take a nice black and white photo of him (and then borrow money to buy developing chemicals with).

oh, the things i will finally get to do.

like my thesis.

in the spirit of Polaroid Week,

2011-07-15T08:39:00.000+08:00

here is a very underexposed and overdeveloped photograph of my mother.

apologies for the poor scanning which did nothing to ~~save~~ give the image a little more dignity. :P

i "resurrected" the Polaroid 320 Land camera (Polaroid Land 320 camera?) my dad gave me. i think he gave it to me to add to my collection of old cameras that do not work anymore. heehee. i don't think he was expecting the polaroid to be used again. i'm glad i have film-loving friends who share information and tips, and i found out that the polaroid i've left gathering dust beside my bed can still make a comeback.

i wrote about how the old battery was still there--i did a simple battery conversion-modification which enabled me to replace the old, phased-out one with an easily-available cr2 battery. the important thing was to use a battery with the same voltage of 3 volts. *geek mode*

anyway! it's good that the film packs compatible with the camera are still available, albeit way past their prime. i ordered two packs of Fuji FP100C (color) and a pack of Fuji FP100B (black and white) to test the camera with. looks like i'll have to ~~hoard~~ order more.

so, test shot done. what i learned: the film speed is 100, and shutter speed is 75. it's advisable to adjust the camera settings to "darken" to compensate IF it is already sunny and you're afraid of overexposing the film. in my case, i should have adjusted it to "lighten" instead because it was still early morning and the sunlight hasn't quite reached our garden yet. i need the sun. or a brighter time of the day. lesson learned. it could also be because the film's already expired, and well, i think it only makes things more exciting, hahaha. next!

downgrade, upgrade

2011-07-05T14:18:00.001+08:00

most of the time, you want the best. that's understandable.

i've thought about things for a while.

i want what fits me. it may not be the best for you, of course.

what. fits. me. it's different from "whatever fits."

sometimes it costs more, but hey, it fits.

i'm talking about a camera. (lol)

for the first time in months, i feel at peace with the choice i've made.

no i haven't bought anything yet. but soon, yes?

i'm a material girl.

* * *

in other news,

it was shutter revolution's general assembly last sunday. this is a photo by esowbee in tumblr. i like this photo because it shows me (in a white dress with colorful prints) running to get the film and photo album that i won in the raffle, where i also gave away my olympus pen ee (goodbye, old rose) and some other stuff (bag, scrapbooks). me in action, hahaha.

28 cd-r king film cameras all in a row, shooting simultaneously. it was fun.

i also bought a one-of-a-kind swing bag from the talented fellow shutterbug and also designer-artist denver garza. i've always been a fan of his recycled creations, and i am happy to support his endeavors! no pic of the bag yet though, but let me say it brings colorful happiness to a gloomy day! :P

do

2011-07-01T09:33:00.003+08:00

the results of yesterday's trip to the anthropology department of the u of the p:

before i get the approval for the extension of my residency, i must have a certification from my adviser that yes, indeed, i am doing my thesis and in fact, i am ready to defend my proposal this semester, as per the condition of my first residency extension.

to have a certification (and to clear some things up regarding my adviser who was transferred to another department), i have to show some paper. preferably my thesis proposal. or at least something that looks like it.

i missed diliman. being there yesterday was really refreshing (the trees! the trees! the grassy paths!), and walking with students made me feel like a student again. well technically i'm still a student--i meant i miss going to class in shorts. heheh. just kidding.

anyway--excluding work, here are some other things on my to-do list:

need to do:

go to the dance studio and yeah, dance. and do yogilates. two months of no workout makes lauren a chubby flabby girl. i kinda miss sweating from all of my pores. and i miss my instructors and classmates. next week i'll be going back to peak!
read thesis-related stuff. and write.
visit the dentist

want to do:

experiment more with image transfers. i've had some success with acryclic resin matte medium and photocopies.
practice developing black & white photographs. invest in a good tank, measuring devices, and chemicals. this will be good for my soul. ;)
with that said, practice film photography.
buy a film scanner.
scan old photos.
finish the other books i've started. i have three.
practice sketching & watercoloring. i bought waterbrushes yesterday!
make a playground for my rats.
ride my bike.
watch bones. i miss tj thyne as king of the lab.
go to batanes.
go for a walk.

weekends are so few.

black and white

2011-06-27T17:57:00.001+08:00

i learned how to process my own black and white film yesterday!

these are photos i took using my nikon f80 slr and lucky film.

the negative was scanned using a cd-r king stand-alone scanner--not bad huh.

i did some minor post-processing with picasa--the "i'm feeling lucky" button to bring out some highlights. i probably shouldn't have done that. ohwell. it means i need more practice with proper exposure. :)

so does this mean i'll be taking on black and whites from now on? and invest in a paterson tank & reel, some measuring devices, and chemicals? hmm. nice idea. i would like that very much.

photo by ige trinidad :)

A Wife's Charmed Life: Please Help Save the Philippine Dragon Boat Team

2011-06-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

A Wife's Charmed Life: Please Help Save the Philippine Dragon Boat Team: "I seldom blog forwarded messages or solicitations but the letter I'm about to share with you is from one of the members of the Philippine Dr..."

so

2011-06-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

my friday and saturday plans were cancelled, because of the damn beast of a typhoon called falcon.

see what happens when they name these weather things male: milenyo, frank, ondoy, falcon.

idk; the only great female typhoon in my memory who ravaged the country (and ruined what could have been my first trip to the newly-opened enchanted kingdom in 1993) was rosing. i might have forgotten the other great females, of course, but she's the only one that i really remember (because she made me miss enchanted kingdom!!!).

lol at the gender comparison.

anyway, falcon's flying away, and i hope the next boy who comes storming in isn't as kj as he was.

[i know i'm selfish writing about how my plans were cancelled, when there are so many others in worse position. i'm sorry. i just wanted to have a great saturday walking around hidalgo and shooting and eating. :( ]

this post is also a birthday greeting to one of my good friends in graduate school, who passed away during a hiking trip three years ago during typhoon frank's onslaught. his mountaineering club was crossing a raging river in zambales when tragedy struck and he and some others were caught in a fierce current. a few days later he was found on the beach of a beautiful island a day before his birthday. cheers to you, tads. we had a picnic a month ago, just like you wanted:

we had spaghetti, cake, brownies, roasted chicken, and chips!

rj (the only guy in the photo) said tads appeared to him in a dream, telling him that he's starting to forget tads. i told rj i had a similar feeling that made me write tads' multiply blog title as a ym status. we decided it was time we finally get that picnic going--when tads was still with us, we had planned to have a picnic-tambay afternoon at the sunken garden, which never pushed through. so, we contacted our classmates and set the date. we had our picnic in rj's office at the faculty center instead of the sunken garden because it was raining. it was fun nonetheless. i'm looking forward to our next picnic!

what will become of me

2011-06-23T09:58:00.001+08:00

today i'm filling out this form:

APPLICATION FOR EXTENSION OF ACADEMIC RESIDENCY

and writing this letter to our dean, whom i hope would be especially nice to stagnant anthropology graduate students like me, and approve my application. i am banking on the fact that he knows me personally, me being his student in some of his classes. i have been a graduate student for six (going on seven) years, and i have been on "thesis na lang" status for three (going on four) years now, and that's just too long. i've taken a penalty course last year (it's good for two years), and i have actually 'picked out' a thesis adviser and spoken to him--i just needed to defend a proposal last school year, which obviously didn't happen. and now my adviser's transferred to another department, and might not be able to advise as per department regulations. a friend says otherwise though, and another friend says he's willing to take me in as advisee when he finishes his phd. lols.

i can think up of a number of excuses why i am still thesis-less, but in the end it all boils down to me just being a lazy ass. or being easily distracted by projects here and there. or both. or maybe...i just haven't decided on that one topic i can be proud of.

it's easy to pick an easy topic and do a thesis about it just to get things over with. just to have that masters degree. "then do your thing when it comes to your phd dissertation," others would suggest. the thing is...it's gonna be a looong while before that happens anyway, and life's too short to be just waiting for the chance to do my thing for an academic study.

it's easy to settle for a 'good enough' study for a thesis, why not, if it gets the job done. here's your degree, now go forth and teach. it's okay to have had a crap/ my-heart-is-not-in-it topic, it's just a thesis, it got you your masters, get over it.

but that will go on my academic record, my cv, and i don't want some crap topic (or something i don't really love) written on it, just because it was easy and it was my last resort.

so why am i still whining? shouldn't i just shut up and work on that long-overdue thesis?

okay.

here goes~

inventory

2011-06-22T09:57:00.004+08:00

the first thing i did when i got out of bed this morning (well, after using the bathroom and turning on the light) was to check my film stash. i'm planning a trip to hidalgo this weekend to buy some fresh rolls of black and white film and some cheap color negatives, and i wanted to be sure i get enough to last me oh, maybe the rest of the year--since i'm doing film all the way. (good luck with that.) should i just save my film buying & processing money for a dslr? and maybe sell my film cameras?

naaaah. hahaha. that dslr will have to wait; i'm still enjoying film while i can. ;)

anyway, here is what i have left:

instant

1 pack fuji instax mini 10

120 format

black and white

1 lucky new shd 100

color reversal (slide)

1 fuji provia 100f

color negative
3 fuji nps 160

1 fuji nph 400

2 fuji h 400

2 fuji pro 160c
1 kodak ektacolor pro 160

35mm

black and white

2 lucky new shd 100

color reversal (slide)

3 fuji sensia 200

4 fuji sensia 400

2 kodak elitechrome 100

1 agfa ct precisa 100

color negative

3 fuji superia 400

2 fuji press 800

1 fuji reala 100

1 fuji nps 160

1 kodak ultima 100

1 dnp centuria 200

1 kodak supra 100

redscaled

1 solid gold 200

* * *
aaand that's it! it seems like i still have quite a lot, but believe me, my film supply is bound to run out soon enough because i'm also planning to do a film photography project this year. i haven't decided yet though, and i'm still looking for ideas. ;)

in the meantime.. film donations, anyone? ;p

weird dream

2011-06-17T13:03:00.000+08:00

i lay in bed with a naked man. i hid him under the covers as people passed by inside the room. i put a pillow beside him to pin the blanket to the bed and to hide his form. it was still dark. the room seemed to move, like a carriage. when the room-carriage stopped, i stood up from the bed, then the man i left slipped away from underneath the sheets. he had taken the form of a white cat, and the bed had become a serving table.

[i was probably high from all the meds i took when i was sick.]

this morning, a realization

2011-06-10T10:18:00.006+08:00

for the past two (three? four?) months ige and i have been discussing, ranting, and raving about cameras. i have been eyeing the canon 550d since february (january?), making a decision that if ever i could save enough for a dslr, i would get that. i had also been lusting after the lumix lx5 ever since it came out, envying those who did have the money to purchase at will. oh well. when my lumix fs4 compact's screen smashed in february (my big, stupid fault), i itched for a new camera immediately, and it took a lot of willpower not to give in to cheaper, yet "good enough" compacts. the arrival of fuji's long-awaited finepix x100 on philippine shores brought much drama to my classic camera-loving self, but it is simply too unattainable for me.

i would always say that it's not the camera but the person behind it that makes a photograph, and agree with the idea that the best camera is the one you have with you. it's very zen, makes you at peace with yourself, and gives you a feeling of content. but it doesn't really stop you from wishing.

this morning while walking towards my building, i looked up the sky and saw a flock of birds taking wing. i thought how awesome it would be to have a camera right then and there and take a photo: the black silhouette of the birds against the varying gray gradients of the sky.

and then, this: i would have a lumix, the lx5. it would be perfect for my shooting style, the way i like to bring a camera everyday, and my fascination with wide angles and long exposures. as for the money i would have spent on a 550d, i would buy a nice lens (ige would say glass) for my nikon f80 film slr. it sounds like a good idea. i love film photography, and while film is still around, i'd like to make the most out of my film cameras too. the 550d can wait--if we're meant to be together, he'll (yes i have decided it's a boy) be there to bring me comfort when my film rolls run out, when photo labs stop processing film, and when companies stop manufacturing film altogether. [i hope that doesn't happen, though.]

but if anyone would like to give me a 550d, it's no problem, really. :P

(photos are summer shots with my nikon f80 film slr)

through the hole

2011-05-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

remember this post about the Worldwide Pinhole Photography Day? well, i finally got the scans of the pinhole photos i took that day!

dreamy with awesome film burns.

plenty of room for improvement. i'm glad i'm getting the hang of it! :)

a quick one

2011-05-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

last weekend: overnight swimming at Noah's Park Resort in Montalban with the family.

my cute little bangs when swept to the side. :p

miel & i at the kiddie pool

us girls.

i just came from our office outing in Baler. eating swimming surfing touring waterfalling photographing. i'll be heading off to digiprint in a bit to have my nine rolls (accumulated over the past two months) developed. i didn't take a digital camera with me to the outing; let's hope the film photos turn out nice so i won't have to wail about not having a digicam. haha.

since 1993

2011-04-27T12:11:00.002+08:00

Third grade. Probably one of the most memorable years of my childhood. We would catch dragonflies in the morning before classes started and put them in our pockets when the teacher arrived.

It was also the year I met some of my oldest friends whom I keep in touch with up to now (yes, even without Facebook). We meet at least once a year (since graduating from grade school), and it feels like we're back in our old school again.

This post is for Cha, one of my closest grade-school friends. We used to spend long hours on the phone talking about Boyzone. We would save our lunch money so that we could buy magazines, posters, and postcards with Boyzone it them. (She was able to watch them live when they went to Manila! Haha.) Anyway, Cha sent me this postcard from Stanford University, where she's taking up an environmental engineering course. She said she reads this blog, so, Hi Cha! I hope I got the info right. She also has her own blog. I think she's really masipag in writing and so good at articulating her thoughts! :)

Wow at Stanford. My first "boyfriend" (I was in high school, so you know what I mean) lived in Stanford. Stanford Street, in the university town of Cubao, that is.

I'm really happy for Cha and the awesome opportunity to study abroad. One of my anthropology professors once said he envisioned me taking up my PhD in Cornell. (I wish! I haven't even finished my Masters yet!)

Now for some pictures! Here's me with Onay, another of my elem-school barkada. I think this was during our sixth grade Christmas party. Can you see the orange lantern on the ceiling behind us? I made that! Oh, and look at my Tretorns. I miss wearing them. And I am totally not alone in the skirt-and-socks combo.

And here is Cha, probably looking at a Boyzone card. :P

Tinette, Cha, and Onay from when we went for coffee last December.

We look just the same, don't you think? I hope to hang out with these girls again soon. And maybe gush over boybands again.