Thursday, November 26, 2015

what ifs

this afternoon, in anticipation of amazon's "the man in the high castle", i downloaded the e-book version of the philip k. dick novel the tv series is based on. i wasn't much of a pkd fan growing up (i think i tried reading one of his books once but stopped after the first few pages - now i think i might have been too young to appreciate it), so i had no idea about it, until i worked on an article about the tv adaptation this morning.

i haven't started reading the book, but from what i've absorbed online, the alternate history presented in the novel goes a bit like this: ww2 lasted until 1947, and germany and japan won the war. it's a great what if, and i find myself interested to know the answer.

it led me to think about imagine more what-if scenarios, nothing that historic though, just everyday stuff, the kinds of stuff i've thought about ever since i was a kid daydreaming the day away. it's how i entertain myself and keep myself amused, i guess.

here's one.

i ordered a burger two burgers from the nearby burger shop before it closed. as i waited outside for my burgers to cook, i saw a neighbor's cherry-red chevrolet impala heading up the street, homeward. that car's pretty famous around these parts, very recognizable.

so. what if.

what if i asked the owner/driver if i could take a photo of the car, and he would say of course, and i would introduce myself as a neighbor. and because i was genuinely interested in the car, he would invite me to have a look inside.

(a friend and i have already poked our noses inside once when the car was parked out on the street and we were passing by and the windows were down and no one was around.)

then he would do more - he would get out from the driver's side and invite me to get behind the wheel to drive the car the rest of the way home. and then i would say i haven't driven a car in ten years, to which he would say it's only for a few meters. and then i would agree, and somehow not crash the car. and then i would be able to say i drove an impala.

in that what-if scenario, the owner's name is fred and he is in his mid-40s.

seems far-fetched, yes, i don't think anyone would trust me and be all nice just like that, just like that. this what-if tale makes me sound like a naive chit, but then again, i'm sure there are nice folks like the guy in the scenario. you read about them all the time - about the niceness of strangers and such. could be dangerous to think of as true all the time irl, but  sometimes you get the feeling that something or someone is good, or at least won't do you harm. it's sad when the world thinks the default is that people are inherently evil and being good comes as a surprise. anyway, i digress -

but i guess that's how my brain works sometimes.

i think about these what ifs during quiet moments, and it's good creative exercise for the brain that uses the logical side most of the time. thinking of these what ifs may give some people either hope or a reason to be depressed, but most of the time i just have a fuzzy feeling about it being a story.

it may be why i'm drawn to fiction, why i can relate with amelie and her unfounded fears about the reason why nino hadn't shown up yet, why i think there's more to a story than what's written on a page or acted out in a scene. it may be why i like to be quiet and simply watch people sometimes. i don't think i fantasize too much - i'm still pretty sane (haha yeah) and know when the stuff in my mind really happened and when they're just the products of a very active (and creative, if i may say so) imagination.

what if i hadn't gone out this afternoon? i wouldn't have seen the impala, i wouldn't have come up with that scenario. i would probably have thought of something else.

i missed this kind of writing, the not-thinking-too-much kind. should do this more often to loosen up before/during/after copy editing. doesn't make much sense as i should be strict with following rules, but if it works for me, it works for me.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

something short

hmm. i did say i would try to write again. if i could post mundane stuff to my social network accounts, why not here?
or, if i could refrain from posting mundane stuff, why not post something with more value here?
has everything become too blah to post about? certainly not.
are there things i would rather keep to myself? yes.
i don't even keep a physical journal anymore.
funny, because i've been telling other people to write.
to say i am frustrated (or annoyed?) with myself is an understatement.
met new friends, hung out with old ones, had my family over
complained about slow internet
the good news, my sis brought me three of my film cameras
the bad news, i have no idea where to have films developed here
where to travel to next year?