last night it felt like the others skipped a couple of stages of grief and moved on to bargaining, saying that at least tads got to do what he loved in the end. if he's happy so were we, and so acceptance will come soon. for me and carol (and rj too, i think he just didn't admit it), i don't know, i guess we were still in a state of shock. what to do with all these thoughts, what to think about. last night there were five of us sharing our grief, and laughing every time we remember something utterly funny that tads said or did, the classes, the walkabouts, the trademark goatie-pulling.
"Crossing rivers, especially with strong currents, is a different experience," said graphic designer Thaddeus Reantaso. "I would definitely do this again."
as we headed home we heard someone talking on his cellphone with words "bloated" and "kabaong" sounding slightly louder than other words (to our ears). we stopped walking and stayed where we are, and i'm sure the guy talking on the phone noticed it, because my back was only three feet away from him. we eavesdropped as much as we could. then i pleaded with the girls to please approach him after the call, because i couldn't do it. after the call, the guy was about to turn away when we called him back and properly introduced ourselves. yes, they were talking about tads and the details of the interment. it's painful to write it down but i have to, the image in my mind is...damn. the guy's name was james and he was with tads back during tads' fine arts, UP art circle years. he said that tads will be cremated once he gets to manila, and then the wake will follow soon after. not much use for a casket since (as we overheard) well, tads in his decomposing, bloated state (sorry, sorry) wouldn't fit anymore. i remembered prana--she still fit in her casket, which was never opened. but tads--tads is a rebel, no casket for him, it's straight into the fire. what a way to go, tads. you amaze us every time. for your post-birthday celebration, we'll be having your picnic at sunken, just the way you wanted it. no booze; we'll eat sandwiches and drink iced tea--wholesome and healthy. okay, a few green jokes here and there. cheers.