Thursday, June 23, 2011

what will become of me

today i'm filling out this form:


and writing this letter to our dean, whom i hope would be especially nice to stagnant anthropology graduate students like me, and approve my application.  i am banking on the fact that he knows me personally, me being his student in some of his classes.  i have been a graduate student for six (going on seven) years, and i have been on "thesis na lang" status for three (going on four) years now, and that's just too long.  i've taken a penalty course last year (it's good for two years), and i have actually 'picked out' a thesis adviser and spoken to him--i just needed to defend a proposal last school year, which obviously didn't happen.  and now my adviser's transferred to another department, and might not be able to advise as per department regulations.  a friend says otherwise though, and another friend says he's willing to take me in as advisee when he finishes his phd.  lols.

i can think up of a number of excuses why i am still thesis-less, but in the end it all boils down to me just being a lazy ass.  or being easily distracted by projects here and there.  or both.  or maybe...i just haven't decided on that one topic i can be proud of.

it's easy to pick an easy topic and do a thesis about it just to get things over with.  just to have that masters degree.  "then do your thing when it comes to your phd dissertation," others would suggest.  the thing's gonna be a looong while before that happens anyway, and life's too short to be just waiting for the chance to do my thing for an academic study. 

it's easy to settle for a 'good enough' study for a thesis, why not, if it gets the job done.  here's your degree, now go forth and teach.  it's okay to have had a crap/ my-heart-is-not-in-it topic, it's just a thesis, it got you your masters, get over it.

but that will go on my academic record, my cv, and i don't want some crap topic (or something i don't really love) written on it, just because it was easy and it was my last resort.

so why am i still whining?  shouldn't i just shut up and work on that long-overdue thesis?


here goes~

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