Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Throat cries for justice, wakes up owner

JUN-JUN STREET, Quezon City -- at five in the morning, an impressionable young John Lloyd Cruz fan downs two mugs of warm water, complaining of her Throat, which has been in her body her whole life.

"I didn't get to sleep early na nga because of a raket, I set my alarm at six but I got to sleep at one a.m. pa--and I thought hey, I can't snooze when it alarms at six, because I have a meeting at work at nine, but then I woke up at five--well, actually, I woke up earlier than that, to turn on the fan, because mosquitoes were buzzing around me and I was scratchy all there, I woke up at five because my throat was hurting again, and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was so very annoying, so I got up na and went to the cr to gargle water and blow my nose--I did whatever I thought could ease the terrible pain!

"A few weeks ago I considered such an occurrence as cute and artsy, because when I couldn't go back to sleep because of my throat or my recurred asthma, I would head over to my work area to doodle some stuff for this guy, for Christmas. He's really sweet, and silly, and he lives just over--oh, sorry, where was I? Oh, the cuteness. Really he is. Oh no, wait, okay, yes, I also have asthma--again, because it was gone as I grew up but now it's back. It wakes me up in the early mornings too, when I couldn't breathe and I wheeze like an engine. Kinda like that.

"Anyway, now I can't decide which is worse--the bad throat that tells me it's mucus morning, or the asthma that makes me a noisy breather. I think it's the painful slimy throat--based on experience, the wheezing caused by asthma goes away soon enough, but the throat thing just makes everything else difficult--breathing, swallowing."

When asked about why she thinks her throat bothers her in the early mornings when it's oh-so-good to sleep, the young remarkable John Lloyd fan had this to say:

"I think it's waging revenge on me, after the many dirty things I made it do in the past."

Dirty things, young amazing John Lloyd fan? Can you please elaborate?

"Well," says the magnificent girl with a smile, "I used to have to swallow a lot of sour cream."

That's it. Drown yourself in antibiotic, dear girl. Lots and lots of it.


In other news, an officemate confirmed that yes, the reason why Alfred Vargas' (insert plenty of god-like attributes here) face is on every corner of Quezon City's District II is because he'd be running for councilor come 2010. Apparently he lives nearby, in Fairview. One of these days I'll take down one (okay, maybe a dozen) of Alfred's many merry Christmas greetings and make beddings out of them--'I don't care about you throat; I've got Alfred's nice eye-crinkley smile on my cheek.' Alfred for Councilor! Yey, I said, now I have a reason to vote. Haha. Lame and shallow but hey, different strokes for different folks eh?

Lots and lots of antibiotic.

And probably the Act of Contrition.

No comments: